Wrong

I blogged too soon. The pain today has been almost unbearable. It feels like someone is taking a blowtorch to my leg as it simultaneously splinters into a million pieces. I've got my leg in the motion machine right now. Surprisingly, doing this doesn't hurt. It's only when ** I ** try to move around. It doesn't make any sense to me at all.

The whole day has been so surreal. I actually did some work from my work laptop. I've watched movies. I've wept in agony. I've Twittered. I napped, ate, got sick. Now I'm blogging. I can't believe I've done all this in one day. Being in the movement machine must be like entering a parallel universe. Ha. Happy pills kicking in I think.

I really hate that cryo cuff. It is now making me freezing cold and it's really loud. It's super irritating. I understand I have to use it or else my leg will swell way up. But I hate it.

Getting really sleepy now. Maybe time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Franken-knee

SCROLL TO BOTTOM FOR UPDATE

I made it out of the Dead Zone. Yippee. I'm actually not in all that much pain either. Thank you, Vicodin. The Dr. said that the ACL repair was perfect. The cartilage was not too badly damaged and should heal on its own. I do not have to wear a brace - YAY!!! But I do have to use crutches for two weeks and cannot put any weight on the left knee. This will allow both the cartilage and the hamstring (from where the new ACL was harvested) to heal up.

I have this contraption around my knee. It provides constant cooling to keep swelling down. We put ice and water in the cooler part and it pumps in through the tube to the pad that is strapped around the knee.


I also have this fun machine. This moves my knee for me. I have to do it for 2 hours, rest an hour, 2 more hours, rest and hour....you get it. It doesn't hurt too much - it's not the bending that hurts, but when it gets straightened. It also kind of stinks because I have to be on the floor for this so that it can be flat.

I also have some lovely staples up and down the knee. All in all - I look a mess. But I feel pretty good considering everything. I can't take off the bandages or shower until Monday. YUCKY!!! I'm gonna be a STINK mess by then.

Thanks to all of you who left the nice comments on the last post. It really does help to have people wishing the best.

(P.S. - To all my Chantix buddies: it was sure nice not to be Jonesing for a cigarette on top of all my pain. I'm so glad that's all behind me now.)


FRANKEN-KNEE!!!!

Somewhere my love....

No wonder I love Dr. Zhivago. Turns out that most Native Americans came from Siberia. Neat.

Well it turns out I'm really morbid. All day I've been thinking wretched thoughts about my surgery tomorrow. That's just how I am. My dad once told me that I spend so much time and energy worrying about things that MIGHT happen, that when something actually DOES happen I don't have any resources to deal with it. Meanie. He's right though. I'm a worrier and fretter and a worst case scenario-er. Maybe it's not the most mentally healthy way to be, but think how happy I'll be when I wake up and realize that I did not actually slip into the Dead Zone with Stephen King. If you expect the worst then anything marginally better than worst is fantastic. LOL. What a load of BS huh?

Here's the real issue - I'm a control freak. I don't even like to be the passenger in a car. But I have to just trust these total strangers to knock me unconscious (but keep me alive), put little cameras in my knee and cut things and bolt things and rearrange things (while keeping me alive), sew me all back together, and then WAKE ME UP (preferably with non-scrambled brains).

I'm sure it'll be ok. I'm just a little teeny tiny itsy bitty bit scared. :(

See ya'll on Thursday.

Tee-hee

Someone sent me this joke and I think it's FUNNY!!! Jeff doesn't like it for some weird reason.

South Dakota Women

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Minnesota and had told her that she was going to do dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from North Dakota. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from South Dakota. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye...enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

No E.Q.

Remember like 10 years ago everyone was talking about how the "emotional quotient" was just as important as I.Q.? My E.Q. is nil. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but my mom can back me up on this. We watched this 20/20 or Dateline thing about E.Q. and they said a simple test you can do to your own child (5 is the optimal age) is this: 1) offer them a piece of candy 2) tell them that they can have that one piece right now or if they can wait 5 minutes they can have an additional piece 3) leave the child alone for the 5 minutes - if he eats the candy, bad E.Q. - if he doesn't, good E.Q. Anyway - at the time this was a big news thing, Dylan was 5 years old. My mom and I watched this 20/20 thing and by the time it was over, Dylan was already asleep. I actually wanted to WAKE HIM UP to do this test because *** I *** couldn't wait over night. Too funny.

This ridiculous preamble has a point. I had to have a pre-op physical today. It appears that I am healthy enough to cut open. Good to know. But the doctor made me do a chest X-ray and I was really offended. He said that I don't get to erase 20 years of smoking with (almost) 4 months of quitting. Well fine. Jeez. Did it have to be put so bluntly?? I KNOW I haven't erased all that damage, but the way he put it just made me kind of....I don't know....frustrated. I wanted to light a cigarette purely out of spite at that point. And I actually normally like my doctor. Grrr.

Also I was told "good luck" when I said that I wanted to be back at work on Monday. Not that I'm some workaholic nut - but I like my job and the people I work with, I don't have a lot of leave left, and anything I can't get done either piles up on my desk (yuck) or becomes someone else's problem (not fair). I WANT to go back Monday. I want this leg thing to be over....YESTERDAY.

I'm tantrum-ing again. I'll stop. I was talking to a friend who also has an injury and we decided that we're just being big babies. There are people who live with permanent disabilities every single day. At least there IS an end to this for me. I really shouldn't complain. Must be a brown thing. ;)

Brown?? Seeems boring

What's Your True Color?

My Result: Brown

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Take this test >

Boo Blogger

Is anyone else having trouble embedding videos today? I just did the one below with no problems. I wanted to put a new one up. I'll just give you the link here. I thought this was pretty cute.

I know we're all stuffed but I'm going to put up another recipe. We had this for dinner tonight as a break from all that turkey. Served with a cold pasta salad (from a box) and fresh broccoli.
I found this recipe at AllRecipes.com.

Salmon Rosemary Burgers

INGREDIENTS
2 1/2 pounds king salmon fillet, skinned and de-boned
1 cup dry bread crumbs
1/2 cup minced red onion
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons prepared horseradish
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon minced fresh rosemary
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil

DIRECTIONS
Prepare the salmon by cutting into strips, cutting the strips crosswise, and chopping the fish until well minced. Be sure to remove any remaining bones.
In a large bowl, mix the minced salmon with bread crumbs, red onion, Dijon mustard, horseradish, and eggs. Season with rosemary, salt, and pepper. Chill at least 30 minutes in the refrigerator.
Preheat an outdoor grill for medium-high heat.
Form the salmon mixture into 8 burger patties. Lightly coat each patty with olive oil.
Place salmon patties on the grill, and cook 4 or 5 minutes on each side.

We make a 1/2 recipe and adjust the ingredients accordingly. I usually use shallots instead of red onion - mostly because I don't ever use red onion for anything else and I always have shallots on hand because I love them. If it occurs to me to get fresh rosemary then we use it, but dried works fine in this too. Don't be scared by the horseradish. I'm no fan of that stuff either - but you do not get a big huge horseradish taste, it's very subtle (but necessary). Also, we always make these in a pan on the stovetop with a little olive oil. I was too nervous that they'd fall apart on the outside grill and get all smashed on the George Foreman grill. The taste great out of the pan - brown up nicely too. Jeff eats his on a bun with lettuce and tomato. I don't like all that bread so I just eat mine with a couple drops of soy sauce.

By the way, the Sweet Potato Casserole recipe I posted a few days ago was a big hit. My parents really preferred it to the gooey sweet marshmallow yam thing.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Can't.....move.....Food.....coma.....taking.....over.................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Gobble

I hope you are all enjoying your Turkey Day!!!

(Actually, I'm wildly jealous at the thought of allllllllll you people eating allllllll that yummy food right now. We're never doing this a day late ever again!!)

Guilty Pleasure

I'm likely the biggest dork in the world, but that's ok. I still get all a-flutter for Adam Ant.

(Yes, I see the weird crotch strap outfit and the make-up. No, it doesn't bother me. Yes, it would bother me on anyone else....HAHAHA. I'm getting a seriously twisted mental image of my dear hubby dressed up like this. hahahahahahahahahahahaha)

Enjoy

Guilty

I didn't want to hike forever at Wal-Mart so I used the handicapped sticker thingy. What if a *real* handicapped person needed the spot? I'm a jerk. I told myself I wasn't going to use it until after the surgery. But Wally World was packed (with all the other idiots who put off their shopping until tonight), and my leg hurt, and I was tired, and I was lazy. What if I've totally messed up my karma and now I really WILL have the brace/crutches for 6 weeks?

Enough about me. I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. We're not eating until Friday (for a complicated reason), but I hope you all stuff yourselves silly. I've been reading some recipes put up by other bloggers and everything just sounds so yummy. Here's our menu:

Turkey (we use a counter-top roasting oven)
Stuffing (some in the bird and then my dad makes his own giblet stuffing)
Wild Rice Casserole
Sweet Potato Casserole
Fresh Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce
Fresh Green Beans with Some New Sauce My Mom Discovered
Peanut Butter Pie
And the only reason to make any of this food (except dessert): GRAVY!!!!!

We don't ever do rolls or regular mashed potatoes - there's enough carbs up there already.

Pain/Hope

I hurt my knee...like...more. I was lying on the couch and tried to get up and kind of...did it wrong I guess. I actually yelped and started crying. I even scared Noah. That's always a good thing - scare your own kid. Anyway, I had to take a pain pill last night and it hurt like a @#$%^&*!! today. I can't wait for this to be over.

Despite all the cigs and all the extra weight and some random events like a bum gallbladder, I've always been fairly healthy. At least healthy enough to pretty much do what I want to do when I want to do it (assuming that "what I want to do" doesn't involve looking really good in swimwear!;). Being constricted like this is just horrible. To not even be able to get up when I want or to carry Noah or whatever is just.....offensive. I'm offended by this.

I know I shouldn't whine. I know it could have been worse. But.....*sigh*

I'll stop the pity party now. Let's try to think of something positive. Let's find one small silver lining. Like....maybe since I don't smoke anymore, the surgery won't be as dangerous. Like...I've learned what a great teenager I really have - one who can be a rock when it really isn't his job to do that. Like....my husband is the most non-complaining person I've ever met. Like....the people I work with are all basically really nice, helpful, and understanding. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Om.

:)

Something to think about

My regular readers and people who *know* me also know that I am not one to promote causes or be a Miss Do-Gooder. But I read this article and I think this is something we could all do this holiday season. We're all planning to pig out this week and that just isn't possible for everyone. We all have something in our pantry that we're not using or could afford to give away. Drop by your local food pantry and drop off some food. You might be giving someone else a good holiday as well.

Food pantries struggling with shortages

My new favorite author is....

....Jacquelyn Mitchard. I've read most of her books. They've all just been kind of ok to me - until tonight when I read this line from The Breakdown Lane:

"I considered camping a sin not for but against nature, a form of primitive subjugation, disguised as recreation, a way for men to beat their chests at the dawning and women to wash the same dishes fifteen times a day, and with sand."

I've never seen a better way to explain to Jeff for the billionth time why I don't want to go camping. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Ms. Mitchard.

Tired

I am mentally fried. I've been working all weekend in order to make up for some of the time I missed with the knee injury. I still have at least an hour or two of stuff that I could be doing. Maybe later. I'm sick of it right now. Still it's very nice that I can work from home. I would have already burned up all my sick leave by now. I will be out of work at least 3 full days with the surgery, plus there are the further PT and follow-up doctor appointments.

Speaking of PT, that went really well. The therapist showed me some exercises to start strengthening my leg and some that she will have me do after the surgery to get back to normal (as normal as I ever get anyway). She was one of those medical professionals that seem so rare anymore - someone who actually takes the time to explain things. I hate when medical people either condescend to me or just assume that I'm going to blindly follow their god-like decrees with no explanation. But this lady was nothing like that at all - she explained what each exercise was supposed to accomplish as well as what the entire PT process would accomplish. She really made me want to work at this because I can easily see that such work will provide me with a tangible result. I was so apprehensive about this and I feel so great about it now.

Finally, just an observation - I've been hitting the NaBloPoMo randomizer (that doesn't seem to be terribly random) as well as the blogger random button and noticed that MOST of the bloggers out there seem to be women. Have you all found this to be true? I mean, look at my links over there - only one of them is for a guy. Why is this the case? Or is it just a function of NaBloPoMo and Blogger? Maybe other blog hosting sites have way more men? Maybe we just can't shut the hell up in any forum? Who knows??? It just kind of struck me as interesting.

Oh gross - I just saw a turducken put together on the Food Network. I don't care how it tastes - that just seems kind of obscene to me. I once read about a recipe for a hot dog with hamburger wrapped around it and bacon wrapped around that. Do we REALLY need to be pigs like this???

I promise

I do solemnly swear that I will NEVER give someone a raspberry again. Because this is what it REALLY looks like!!

More recipes

The first recipe is going to be wildly imprecise - this is something I never really measure. If you like more mushrooms, use more mushrooms. Go crazy. Have fun.

Wild Rice Casserole

1 - 1 1/2 cups wild rice
4 - 5 cups of chicken stock (preferred) or broth
3 tbsp butter
3/4 cups each finely chopped yellow onion, celery, portobella mushrooms
1 can water chestnuts, diced
1/4 - 1/2 cup soy sauce
1 small bag of slivered almonds, toasted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a large covered saucepan, simmer rice and chicken stock for 45 - 60 minutes. Rice should be mostly opened, yet still hold some firmness.
While rice is simmering, melt butter in large skillet over medium heat. Saute onion, celery, and mushrooms until tender, but not brown.
Drain rice and RESERVE THE REMAINING STOCK/BROTH (more on this later).
Combine rice, vegetables, water chestnuts, and soy sauce in a casserole dish. Sprinkle slivered almonds over top of casserole.
Cover and bake for 30 minutes until all ingredients are thoroughly heated.

You can make most of this well before serving. I usually make everything but the almonds the day before - if they sit in the casserole they get soggy. But sure to use the soy sauce to your taste. I like a lot, but most don't so I add more to my own plate.

About the reserved chicken stock/broth. My mom and I have discovered that if you use this reserved broth when making turkey gravy, you will have THE tastiest gravy ever. You also get the added thickening of the rice starches (though you still will have to use another thickener - we use cornstarch). The rice adds an amazing flavor to the chicken stock. If you're not making a turkey (or anything else that needs a gravy/sauce), freeze the reserved stock until you do. If you REALLY don't want to keep it, email me and I'll give the address where to ship it C.O.D.!!!!

One thing I've done is cooked up cubed chicken breasts and added it to this with some parmesan cheese - a whole meal in one bowl.

Ok now for a more precise recipe. I am not a huge PB fan, but this is amazingly light and airy and really REALLY good. I found this in a magazine a couple of years ago and my whole family just loves it.

Peanut Butter Pie

1 prepared chocolate cookie pie crust (or graham cracker)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar
8 oz cream cheese (at room temperature)
12 oz container of thawed Cool Whip (I should a put a TM thing here, but oh well)
1 jar of hot fudge topping (about 12 oz)

In a medium bowl, use a hand mixer on medium low to beat together the peanut butter, cream cheese, and sugar.
Gently fold in about 2 cups of the Cool Whip.
Spoon mixture into pie shell, using a spatula to smooth mixture to edges of pie.
Reserving 2 tbsp of fudge, place remaining fudge in microwave safe bowl or glass measuring cup for 1 minute or until melted. Stir.
Spread hot fudge over pie to cover entire peanut butter layer.
Refrigerate until serving time (at least 1 hour).
Just before serving, spread the remaining Cool Whip over the hot fudge layer, being careful not to mix the two layers.
Place 2 tbsp hot fudge into baggie and knead for a few seconds. Cut a tiny hole in the corner of the baggie and drizzle fudge over pie.
Repeat this procedure with 2 tbsp of creamy peanut butter.

I was going to blog about my physical therapy appointment, but I'm so hungry now that I gotta go eat!! I hope you try and like these recipes.

I can't wait for Turkey day!

I am not a fan of sweet potatoes. I think they taste like....well....like yucky. But my husband seems to like them, so every big holiday I make that revolting sweet potato/marshmallow thing. That thing just looks so gross and it cannot be good for you. I found this new recipe from the Food Network that seems slightly less offensive and I thought I'd give it whirl. Hubby said he'd be willing to try it out. If any readers have had anything like this, let me know. I'll post my famous wild rice casserole recipe tomorrow.

Sweet Potato Casserole

2 1/2 lbs sweet potatoes (about 3 large), scrubbed
2 large eggs, lightly beaten with a fork
3 tbs unsalted butter, melted plus more for preparing the pan
2 tbs packed dark brown sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
pinch of freshly grated nutmeg (I'm subbing dried here)
freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Put the sweet potatoes on a baking sheet and pierce each one 2 or 3 times with a fork. Bake for 45 to 60 minutes or until tender. Set aside to cool.

Turn the oven down to 350 degrees F. Scoop the sweet potato out of their skins and into a medium bowl. Discard the skins. mash the potatoes until smooth. Ad the eggs, butter, brown sugar, salt cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and pepper to taste. Whisk the mixture until smooth.

Butter an 8x8 inch casserole. Pour the sweet potato mixture into the pan and sprinkle the top with the pecans. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes until a bit puffy. Serve immediately.

Darn

I missed a day. I am a NaBloPoMo failure. I was REALLY tired last night and just collapsed - that's why I'm doing this at 4 am. Oh well - I didn't smoke yesterday. I more interested in keeping quit day to day than I am in posting.

Strange

I just read a story that TV Land and Entertainment Weekly have come up with a list of the 50 greatest TV icons - this will air on some channel some time..I didn't really pay attention to that. I get kind of sick of these X number of greatest Y lists. (Although this list apparently puts Johnny Carson first - I gotta agree with that. I STILL miss him at 10:30.) Anyway, what struck me as strange is that I went to the TV Land website to see the whole list and apparently this thing is sponsored by Chantix. I have to wonder why Chantix would choose to sponsor this event, of all things. I just find it kind of ironic given how many early TV shows were sponsored by tobacco companies. I didn't see the whole list, but I would assume that many of these "icons" are going to be from older shows (e.g. I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, etc.) where smoking was A-OK. Maybe the makers of Chantix are trying to target all those folks who grew up smoking right along with those shows and are now trying to quit. I actually find that kind of infuriating for people in that demographic. (I may miss Johnny but I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners were WAY before my time.) To go years and years seeing all that cigarette advertising and now have to sit through quit smoking advertising. Honestly - I'm thrilled that I was able to quit smoking with this pill, but...I don't know...it seems so pushy to be sponsoring this thing. Maybe I'm being weird, but I just find the whole thing slightly distasteful. Does anyone remember what killed Mr. Carson?? Emphysema. I guess Chantix was too late for him.

Ok, now I'm REALLY going to bed.

One break - please

I've managed to pick up a cold. I've been sitting on my couch for most of the past three days so I'm not really sure how this is possible. My head feels about 2 sizes too big. I'm off to bed soon. Cheers. *sniff, achoo, hack*

:)

Hey Ya!

I can't lie anymore - here's what *really* happened:

(click pic to see)

Veteran's Day

Thank you so much to all the brave veterans out there as well as those actively serving right now - especially Chris Dx.

Here's a link to the history of how the day became a holiday. As Maggie noted, this is not supposed to be about a day off work or getting a good deal on sheets at Penney's.

Hahaha

Someone left me this comment on my MySpace page. Too funny. Although I didn't go head over heels.

Here's what we had for dinner.

Sherry Pork Chops (my mom discovered this recipe)

4 thick cut boneless chops, trimmed of fat
1 - 2 tbsp olive oil
1 - 2 cloves garlic, minced
1 beef bouillon cube
1/2 teaspoon tarragon
1/2 cup dry sherry

In a large skillet, heat olive oil on high.
Brown chops on both sides.
Turn heat down to medium low and add the remaining ingredients
Cover and cook over low heat about 45 minutes or until chops are tender
**I always turn the chops once during this process...also check that the liquid has not evaporated....add more sherry or water if this occurs....the sauce is to die for***

Dauphin Potatoes (from a Dayton's cookbook)

4 large russet potatoes
6 - 8 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups shredded Gruyere cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups whipping cream

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Peel and slice potatoes to about 1/8 inch thickness. Soak in cold water several hours or overnight. Pat completely dry.
Put 1/4 of potatoes in a single layer in a 9x13 baking dish. Sprinkle with 1/4 garlic and 1/4 cheese. Salt and pepper to taste.
Repeat this 3 times to make 4 total layers
Cover with foil and bake for 1/2 hour
Remove foil and return to over for another 1/2 hour
***This dish is incredibly rich and not for the shy of fat/calories. It may not be the best thing for you, but it's DELICIOUS. I've had times when the potatoes were too thick or I misjudged and wound up with 3 layers - tasted fine.***

We are total dorks

We're sitting here like brain-dead zombies watching Ninja Warrior. They redesigned the course and it's all very exciting!!! I blame my son for getting us hooked on this inanity. I don't know what it is about this show - maybe the camp factor. Or maybe we're just tacky and have bad taste...I dunno.

What else is going on? My husband bought a jar of Planter's Peanuts. On the back of the jar there's the list of ingredients - "Peanuts, salt, etc..." and then there's a disclaimer that reads - "CONTAINS: PEANUTS" Ummm...yeah...we were kind of WANTING that. The word "peanut" is on the PEANUT-SHAPED jar in at least eight other spots. So...WE GET IT.

Knee news: I had to take a Vicodin last night. I was really disappointed. I haven't taken one of those in over a week. I'm not a big fan of narcotics (and I rarely drink) - waaaaaay too much of a control freak to enjoy being buzzed/drunk. (Ok ok....for those of you that *REALLY* know me....that should read, "to enjoy it ANYMORE.") Anyway - the pain in my knee has changed from a sharp, stabbing surprising thing to a dull ache. It's as if my knee is just quietly sobbing. No big outbursts, no tantrums, no screaming....just a consistent, heart-wrenching sobbing. Well it was keeping me awake so I finally caved and took a pill. I hate this.

My orthopedic surgeon approved me for a handicapped parking sticker. On the form he had to fill out, he had to estimate a date of full recovery. He put 4/1/08!!!! OMG!!! Are you kidding me??? How depressing. Maybe he was just trying to go as far out as possible - I hope. Sheesh. I wouldn't have asked for the parking sticker if we didn't have winter coming up. The nice weather has not been that much of a problem, but I didn't want to be dancing around icy/slushy/snowy parking lots on crutches. I'd probably just wind up tearing up my other ACL. Did I mention that I hate this?

I know someone who has a rotator cuff injury that also needs surgery. We were arguing about who's injury was worse. I think I have to concede to the rotator cuff. I'm not all that active a person - sitting around reading, watching TV/movies, surfing/blogging is what I'd be doing anyway! But not having use of an arm would be really bad. Now, if I wind up on crutches for 6 weeks, then I think I get the title back - you can't use EITHER or your arms when you're on crutches. We'll see how it goes.

I hate to end this post on a downer. Dylan went up to help his grandparents with some outside work. He's such a great kid. I asked him if he could take time out of his long weekend to help them out and he was MORE than happy to do it. It's also nice that he can drive up there on his own and just handle it. I'm sure we all know a lot of teenagers who would have refused or whined all the way through it - but none of that from D. He's so great. I cannot believe how incredibly lucky I am to just have a nice kid. So many teenagers are so completely unpleasant to be around - just surly and ugly. But Dylan is usually happy and cheerful. (His little brother is an entirely different story - that kid is like a mood hurricane.)

Well I've raved on for quite a bit here - and my favorite NW competitor is about to go!!! Yay!!

Well this is embarrassing

All that time spent in grad school and this is what I get? Well that was money well spent. I'll have to start using big and/or obscure words on here from now on. *sigh*

Get a Cash Advance

I missed another one!

I missed another one of my own anniversaries!! Yesterday was the 3rd calendar month smoke free (except for that one). One more month and the evil smoker penalty will come off my health insurance.

Most days I don't even think about it. The accident has caused some stress which has made me wish for one - but the thought of dragging my limpy self off to the store for smokes is just absurd. It's only ever a very fleeting thing anyway.

I have my first physical therapy appointment next week. I'm supposed to have some sessions before the surgery to strengthen the leg - I haven't been using it much and it's really weak. We did some shopping last night and I didn't wear my brace. I figured the shopping car would be enough support. NOT REALLY. By the end it really hurt as did my good leg - it was getting all my weight. Hopefully the PT will help me work some of these issues out. I've never had PT of any kind - does it help? Is it horrible? Let me know.

It's 4 am crazy time!!

Don't ask why I'm up.

I've been hitting the NaBloPoMo randomizer button for about an hour. There are some strange rangers out there. I found a post about the evils of alcohol (maybe so....but I'll always have wine in my house) and a link to 20 things that are more dangerous to kids than lead paint in toys. One of the 20 was shampoo. Uh....sorry - I'm gonna insist that the boys shampoo. The guy was a nut - apparently every product in the known universe contains carcinogens - including sunscreen. OH WAIT - that should be every product except the ones this guy kept pimping. He kept referring to a natural products website. Nice. Subtle. Must be a shareholder (unless capitalism causes cancer as well??).

I find fanatics of all kinds to be really scary. Believe what you want to believe....but when you start ranting and preaching and refusing to accept reason or reality....well I have no time for you. Crazy. I think the scariest fanatics are those that insist that some *thing* is the cause/root of all evil and all the problems in their lives or the world. Laundry soap caused my cancer! Pat Conroy made my daughter promiscuous! South Park made my kids swear! Klaatu the space clown made me do it! I understand things happen to people. Bad things. People can be hurt by random things. Maybe some products are dangerous. Maybe Klaatu the space clown is real. But what are the alternatives? Live in a plastic bubble. Shield yourself from life. Spend all your time hating and festering?

Maybe I should start a national campaign against stairs. Or heels. They hurt ME...so obviously none of YOU should get to make any choices about using them. I'm also going to ignore the fact that billions of sure-footed folks gaily traipse up and down the stairs billions of times a day. That's irrelevant. Because of my ONE RANDOM THING....no one should use stairs. Ever again. I think I'll also insist that the lawmakers require all of us to install elevators in our dangerous, multi-story homes.....at our own expense. We'll have to start a new alphabet agency. How about....STEP = Stairs Traumatizing Every Person? I'll have to get some celebrity endorsements. Maybe Britney....I bet stairs are not her friend. Then I'll have to find a sad politician with no real ideological foundation or belief system to make a documentary about it. (Keep in mind that my celebrity and politician will continue to use stairs...it's the rest of YOU who can't handle it and need protection.) I'll make the news show rounds and get into a screaming match with Olbermann or O'Reilly. At some point during the scream fest, I'll tear up a little and yell, "Think about the children!!!" That's the best way to scare people - I'll have some horrible images of crumpled children at the bottom of stairs doctored up. Maybe I'll get some crazies to hang around stair-areas and spray the users with blood or throw crutches at them. At some point, maybe a photographer will catch me on the stairs. I'll have to make the news show rounds again for my mea culpa tour.

I'm going to be really busy. I'd better get to bed and rest up for all of this.

Waaaahhh!

It's surgery. !#!#@%%$^%$$#@#@#!@!

Icky stuff below - don't read if you're squeamish.

My ACL is completely torn in half. This is not fixable. The surgeon will have to harvest from my hamstring and like fashion a new ligament. YUCKY!!! (There's another option, but it's even yuckier as it involves the word "cadaver.") Also, it appears that my cartilage (meniscus) is also torn. The MRI was not clear about how bad that tear is. If he does have to do extensive repairs to the cartilage, then I will be in a brace AND on crutches for six weeks. I'm really hoping that the cartilage isn't too bad. Six weeks is a long time. The surgery will take place the end of the month. Boo hoo.

In other depressing news, I had a little panic attack at the top of the steps last night. I looked down and just got kind of sick feeling and panicked. The dreams are still bad too. This just seems so silly to me. Like my own mind is torturing me. There are WAY worse things that happen to people and they function just fine. It makes me feel totally self-absorbed and babyish to still be freaking out about the steps.

Enough of my knee....it's getting boring even to me.

I read today that a high school in West Virginia is banning books by one of this country's best contemporary authors - Pat Conroy. Two of his books were assigned in an ADVANCED OPTIONAL English course.....for SENIORS. It seems that the parents feel that Mr. Conroy's books feature too much sex and violence. Are you kidding me? I can almost guarantee that Mr. Conroy's books are the TAMEST exposure these kids have had to sex and violence. The parents make it sound like it's two books full of bawdiness and smut. One poor, sensitive soul could not even finish reading it because it was so awful. I wonder if this woman has read the Bible lately. Pretty gory stuff in there.

It's pretty ironic that I read this news story today. I just re-read all of his books. One of them, the Prince of Tides, I have read to shreds. Mr. Conroy isn't for everyone, but I have loved every single thing he has written. His powers of description are astonishing. Make sure you read Beach Music (one of the "bad" ones) on a full stomach - the way he describes food will have you drooling. I could understand the problem if these kids were younger. As a parent I do believe that somethings are not appropriate for kids of certain ages. But for older children, I think a truly responsible parent will teach their kids how to understand and interpret the things they hear and see - not shield them forever.

Well - that was a big rant. I just hate the idea of censorship....especially in such a stupid case. I would be THRILLED if my boys ever read Mr. Conroy's works. A perfect example of how much more right he is than the parents is right here:

Because the two books were temporarily banned "every kid in that county will read them, every single one of them. Because book banners are invariably idiots," Conroy wrote in the letter published Oct. 24 in The Charleston Gazette. "They don't know how the world works — but writers and English teachers do."

Here's a link to the full story.

Claustrophobia

I never thought this was a problem for me. I do have to admit that the MRI machine kind of freaked me out yesterday - and I went in feet-first. I cannot imagine going into one of these things head-first. Note to self - request sedative before any head-first MRI. Also I had no idea the machine would be so loud. Think - klaxon. I felt like all of a sudden a military-sounding voice was going to start screaming, "Dive! Dive!" Weird. And OF COURSE the guy operating the machine couldn't tell me anything. That just frosts my cookies. I'm sure there are all sorts of ethical and legal reasons why a radiology tech can't tell you anything....but come on. These people have probably seen more of these images than any doctor. They have SOME idea of what's going on. I'm such an impatient person and it's just wildly frustrating knowing that some dude here in town KNOWS whether my ACL/MCL/meniscus are all torn up and I don't. GRRRRRR.

Rays of light

In the midst of all drama I have been so thankful for my boys. Dylan has been such a HUGE help - and without one single word of complaint. I don't think I would have made it through this last week without him. He has run errands, watched his brother, helped around the house, and has been completely upbeat, supportive, and understanding. Noah has been (mostly) an angel too. He really surprised us this evening when he began talking about a cornucopia. They made one in art class today. I was just shocked to hear him use such a big word. My sweet boys have kept me smiling despite all the bad stuff.

But hands down the funniest thing that happened this past week was from Dylan. He has a curfew of midnight on the weekends. At about 11:40 pm on Saturday night I get a phone call. "Hey Mom, doesn't that clock thing happen at midnight? I should get another hour." I never laughed so hard in my life. First I told him that the "clock thing" actually happens at 2 am, NOT midnight. I further asked him if he was willing to come home an hour EARLY next spring for the next clock thing. He said no. In any event, I felt he deserved points for creativity and for putting a smile on my face. He was allowed to stay out until 12:30.

I'd post a couple of pictures of my guys, but I'm blogging from the laptop and have no recent pictures on here.

I don't believe it

I missed my own bloggiversary. I started this little thing on 11/2/06. The title of my first post was "Wow I hope this isn't lame." And now here we are a year later and I am actually lame. That makes me giggle.

A new perspective

Here are some things I've learned about life with an injury and crutches:

1. Everything is much further away than it seems
2. Wow, I have really short arms
3. Pay attention to bathroom needs because (see #1)
4. We are a household of slobs - there seems to be a LOT of stuff scattered about my floors
5. I actually do have some muscles in my arms....and they HURT
6. The ground is really soggy early in the morning and will sink if enough pressure is applied
7. Stairs are scary
8. Curbs are annoying
9. There is no way to use crutches and carry an umbrella
10. "Don't make me get up" is a meaningless phrase to a 4 year old who knows you're on crutches
11. Cats have an uncanny ability to find the spot on your body that hurts the most - and flop down on it
12. Cats fear crutches
    
13. My soft squishy couch is really kind of a pain in the ***
14. From now on, every bathtub in every house I ever live in will be handicapped equipped/accessible - just in case
15. I'm whiny
16. There's nothing on TV
    

Chupa-update

A couple of months ago I blogged about someone finding a chupacabra carcass. Turns out it's just a coyote. I guess I'll stay a skeptic on all that other stuff too!

Where oh where?

Where have all the bloggers gone? It seems like every single blog in the world

h....a....s.......s....l....o....w....e....d.......w....a....y.......d....o....w....n.

What's going on? All those new non-smokers have so much new energy that they can't sit down long enough to blog? (I'm sure this is true of Miss M - all that coffee!;) All the political pundits gearing up for the big race? All the family bloggers hunkering down for the holidays? *sigh*

Y'all gotta get typin'! Have pity on your one poor lamed up reader!!! I've been guilty of this as well. It is really hard to do one of these things on a regular basis when you also have the rest of your life to handle. Kids, family, friends, work, keeping up a home - you have to prioritize. I sometimes feel like I'm just writing this to "hear" myself "talk." I'm not sure. Also I feel like the people that REALLY care about anything I write - well I talk to them all the time anyway. Who knows? There must just be some blogger malaise going around.

Guest Blogger

Tonight we will have Noah as a guest blogger. He wants to share some Halloween experiences with you.

Mommy said I could share some pictures with you.

First Mommy needs to get pictures off her camera sooner because these are not of my Halloween costume. These pictures are from "Talk Like A Pirate Day" at my school. I also think it's really scary that Mommy alphabetizes all her books. (Click and you'll see.)

Ok next we have me and my Daddy carving pumpkins.

It might look like Daddy is doing all the work (and he's CHEATING with that paper....I thought Daddy was an artist!), but really I'm supervising.

Also, someone has to stand around and be cute and charming. This is a lot of hard work for a boy.

Daddy is so into pumpkin carving that he has no idea I'm standing near all this dangerous stuff. He's very lucky that I'm such a good boy that I would NEVER get into naughty stuff. Mommy says I'm a devil-boy because my eyes are all red. She says I look like I'm just about to be really naughty. She's so wrong.

Daddy says this is supposed to look like a pirate ship. I don't think he knows what he's talking about. We never did get a chance to see it with a candle because Mommy fell down. She looks really funny with a big thing on her leg and crutches.

Finally, here is me dressed as a spooky skeleton (NOT Batman). Right after we took these pictures, my Grandpa took me out for trick-or-treating. I got lots and lots of candy and had a really good time.

Preliminary findings and crazy dreams

Saw the orthopedic surgeon yesterday. He feels I have stretched or torn my ACL, MCL, and medial meniscus (go look 'em up, it's kind of neat how a knee works on a non-clumsy person). I will be going in for an MRI on Monday to determine if it's a tear or a stretch. A tear means surgery. Bleh. The Dr. thinks it's a tear. Bleh bleh. In any event, it will be next Wednesday before I have the final news. He also said that I don't have to use the crutches AND wear the brace, but I have to use at least one of them. For some insane reason, he thinks I could fall and hurt myself. I have no idea where he would get such an idea! The knee still really hurts - especially if I move around too much. Luckily I have VERY nice bosses and they are cool with me working half-days in the office along with working from home. Hopefully I won't have to burn up too much of my leave. This is really going to be a horrible process. But like I said originally, it could be have been WAY worse. We have this huge glass and metal desk near the bottom of those steps - I could have bashed my fool head on that thing. Brr.

I have finally quit taking the Chantix. (And really, who needs Chantix or smokes when you have Vicodin??? hahahaha) I had kind of hoped that my crazy dreams were all done. This is not the case. I have been having horrible dreams where the fall happens again and again. It's very vivid and scary. I think I might have a touch of PTSD. I wake up waving my arms like I'm trying to keep myself balanced. I also keep hearing my own screams in my head. I honestly do not think I've ever screamed like I did when I finally hit the floor.

Wow this post seems like kind of a downer. I really don't feel too down, despite the circumstances. (Two other things happened since my fall - one REALLY horrible, and one bad like mine - but they are things that are VERY personal to other people so I don't feel it's appropriate for me to write about. Let's just say I hope this is the end of the bad luck for a while.) It's going to be a long haul, but I feel fairly upbeat. Honestly, I think the quit has helped. Now I can tell myself, "If I can quit smoking, I can SURELY do this!!" It's kind of a nice pick-me-up.