I checked my email and saw I had comments to my earlier post. I couldn't even remember what I had written about. I was sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy this morning.
I've gotten many nice comments from all of you telling me to keep with it - despite my negative feelings about the whole thing. If I didn't say this before - thank you so much. Things seem to be a little bit better today. I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted a cigarette after lunch (and I forgot to call for my refill - again), but am doing ok now.
The weekend after next we are going up to visit my parents. This is kind of the BIG TEST for me. I know my mom won't smoke around me if I ask her not to, but that's not really the problem. Just knowing they are there is the problem. If there were actual cigarettes in this house, I would smoke them. (We won't even get into whether or not there are any in my older son's room.)
As to sticking with it. I about 30% think that the reason I don't start up again is just so I don't have to tell everyone I failed. Most of my close family knows I'm doing this, as do my close friends and people I work with. Plus all of my loyal readers. Not that anyone will hate me/disown me/fire me....but still. How embarrassing. (Also MOST of these people are non-smokers....they don't GET IT anyway.)
Speaking (more nicely) of Dylan - I'm so proud of him today. Since he now is a fully licensed driver (it's funny - every time I say that I get 10 more gray hairs), he was able to take himself to a doctor check-up all by himself. Maybe not the biggest milestone in a kid's life, but it did kind of strike me. I was all prepared to use some of my personal time from work and then happily realized that he could do this on his own.
Here's a Photoshop-ed picture I took of Dylan when he was little. I don't find this all that funny anymore.
8.16.2007
Blogging awake
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I am glad that today went more smoothly other than right after lunch. You are being tough and hanging in there, and it will be so worth it when the urges become more a thing of the past.
There have been moments when not wanting to have to announce a failure has been one more reason on the list that helped keep me from smoking, so whatever it takes.
I bet you'll do better than you think when you visit your parents. You'll see.
Cute picture, and great story about it :)
Today has been much better. It occurred to me earlier to go change a bunch of my passwords for various things. Lots of them were derivatives of "Winston." And no all you hackers, I didn't make them all derivatives of "Chantix."
That's awesome. Very awesome.
Post a Comment