WINTER TORNADOES. Oh my dear good grief. I thought I was SAFE from November to March. Apparently freakin' NOT. (P.S. I want no "but I like storms" comments....the hell with you...you're crazy...no one likes these....hush up...;)
Does one count? Four health changes to let you live long enough to lose all your teeth and wear a diaper. Yippee.
Boy Scout Thwarts Assassination Attempt.
**Note to self: sign Noah up for Boy Scouts and parade him around important people**
Yeah - the St. Louis area just had WAAAAY too much swearing. That's why I left. WTH??? Can't smoke in bars, can't swear in bars, pretty soon you won't be able to DRINK in bars. You'll just have to sit there with a leaf of lettuce, a non-fiction book on the evils of eating animal flesh, and a glass of water. Woohoo. That's LIVIN'!!!!!
1.08.2008
Quick lunch bloggin'
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4 comments:
Ha! This is why I love reading your blog. I do miss and like storms, but not tornadoes because they've come close enough for me to get the idea without the devastation personally, thankfully. Bars, shmars, water probably ain't good for us neither at the rate we're going ;)
This is funny! I always love reading your blog!
1 – as if blizzards weren’t enough to worry about. I especially like the quote about the guy who “prayed like a sissy”, that would be worth being the tornado to see.
2 – dental health is not part of GBs overall idea of “health”, just living longer and sucking fruits and vegetables through a straw
3- Boy Scout training in the Maldives is way more sophisticated then ours. Not only did he disarm the guy, but he knew how to spot the hidden weapon and move to position himself to stop the guy. Are these kids being trained by the CIA?
4- this is part of st. louis' long-standing plan to move from second best at everything to the most polite city in the nation, giving them top honors in something.
Banning swearing. Yeah. That'll work. (Please note the dripping sarcasm.) I don't know if you saw it, but a long time ago I posted about a town in England that had banned drinking while standing. Apparently the solution to altercations in pubs is to make sure that everyone stays glued to their seats. I'm sure that making it a violation for them to swear at each other would also contribute to peace, tranquility and the will of Landrieu (any Star Trek fans out there?), so maybe English towns will pick up this bit of anti-libertarianism from the folks in St. Louis. Crazy world.
In any case, thanks to all your helpful hint links, I now know how to maximize my scheduled turn here on Earth. I will be eating my vegetables, drinking my moderate allotment of alcohol, getting my exercise, and quitting smoking (if my asthma and allergies ever allow me to start smoking that is). Oh, and I will also be keeping a Boy Scout nearby at all times.
OMG...first off storms are awesome.. SO WHILE the storm was happening, here in St Louis...the swearing capital of the world..I was poking my head out the door trying to WATCH the storm (cause they are SO awesome)..My husband thought maybe I could go out there with some golf clubs and he'd take pictures that I could post on flickr..I nixed the idea and called him a f*c*er...
In Missouri you can smoke in a bar..but maybe not play profane music and dance on tabels.. In Illinois RIGHT across the river you can go to a strip club, see girls play with their hoohaa's on stage and curse a blue streak but you cannot smoke..you have to go outside.
You are right..next will be to ban drinking...
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