Just got my bill from the ambulance company. I'm really glad the billing department is not running the dispatch department - this accident happened two months ago. Here's the breakdown:
BLS Emergency - $369.36 I have no idea what "BLS" is. Maybe...."Blubbering Lug Slipped?" Does this charge differ based on emergency? Is this the "clumsy fool Aunt Bunny-ed down the steps" charge. (10,000 bonus points if you get the Aunt Bunny reference.) Is there a "moronic idiot with a power drill" emergency charge that costs more?
BLS Mileage - $9.17. The hospital is, at most, 3 miles from my house. I guess they're figuring about $3.00/gallon for gas?? Who knows?
Decontamination - $39.87. WTH???? No one sprayed me with Lysol or Clorox that I can remember. I know my basement steps needed to be vacuumed, but I don't think I needed to be decontaminated after touching them. Sheesh.
BLS Pers Care Supply - $20.48. Again, no clue. "Personal Care Supply"???? No one gave me Kleenex or wet wipes. Maybe this is for the gloves that the paramedic had to wear to protect herself from my contaminated filth.
BLS Disposable Sup - $0.00. Ok, no argument from me on this one. I'll pay it.
Pulse Ox Probe - $37.55. This is either that thing they stick on your finger to measure your blood oxygen or someone made a side trip to perform veterinary services on a farm animal and are trying to pass the charges off on me.
All I can say is I LOVE AFLAC. I submitted this bill to my AFLAC rep today and it takes less than a week (generally) to get a check from them. Quack quack. I'm sold on them for life.
12.28.2007
GASP
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3 comments:
Ahaha! Nice. At least you have a sense of humor about it.
We don't have insurance, so I'm really wishing I had a duck to shove my own $387 bill up the ass of right now.
If I didn't have the AFLAC I would be weeping.
I am so very happy with our insurance, even though they put me through hell this summer trying to get back on my medication for Crohn's disease (the doctor switched from doing the IV treatment in his office to having a local hospital do it, and it took several months for all the paperwork to get straightened out. In the meantime I got to have fun overwhelming fatigue, joint pain, nausea, and general feeling uckiness...).
Because even though the hospital charges something like $13,000 for each treatment - which I get every other month -- I pay nothing. The insurance covers it all. Amazing, I know. And to make it more amazing -- it's Tricare, which is the health care plan for military families. A benefit to the soldiers and their families that actually works sometimes!
It always amazes me to check out hospital and doctor bills. I think it's a game between the doctor's office and the insurance companies, to see how many weird things they can get paid for.
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