So. I first saw the phrase "carbon neutral" in Michael Crichton's excellent book, "State of Fear." (I'd link to Amazon so you could purchase this book, but then thought that such an action might necessitate the killing of more trees - so just go to the library and get it instead.) I wasn't really sure what it meant, but it sounded tree-hugger-ish and like just another piece of PC BS propaganda so I just let it go. But then today I found this article accusing Al Gore of hypocrisy because of his lavish, energy wasting lifestyle. Turns out his family spends a whole bunch o' bucks on energy on their 10,000 square foot home. Good for them. Kill the trees, I say. Anyway, the Gores argue that since they are practicing all sorts of other energy saving do-gooder things, that they are living a carbon neutral lifestyle. Well that caused my ears to perk up and I did a little bit of research to find out just what carbon neutral really meant. Here and here are a couple of links for you. Basically, if you cause pollution by the consumption of fossil fuels, you can pay off your carbon debt by doing something good like planting a tree.
By following their logic, I could go on a "calorie neutral" diet if I drink a Diet Coke for every bag of M&M's I wolf down. Or I could live a "tobacco neutral" diet if I go outside and suck up a bunch of fresh air for every puff I take on a cigarette. Maybe "narcotic neutral": do a big bag of cocaine and follow it up with some Quaaludes and a shot of tequila. Or how about a "virginity neutral" lifestyle? For every person you sleep with, you say no to the next person who asks then go home and masturbate. (My husband just came up with "felony neutral": for every person I stab to death with a Sharpie, I have to hand out candy and balloons at a cancer ward for kids the next day.) Or the best yet - a complete "logic neutral" lifestyle: for every inane, vapid, self-serving, PC, worthless idea that you come up with, you then have to spend 15 hours reading Ayn Rand - or studying Aristotle - or writing "I will not be an idiot" 500 times on a blackboard (and diagram that sentence after each time you write it). Un-freakin'-believable.
6 comments:
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Now there's the Tasina I so remember an loved! Can you imagine the neutrals we would have come up with after a 15 hour card marathon and a twelve pack of beer? We could have saved the world 15 years ago!
Too funny. Hey I'm so glad you posted here. I can't find your email address and phone number. Can you email them to me?
I can't help wondering why, if "carbon neutrality" is good, the people who are promoting it don't think "carbon negativity" would be better. You'd think, if they really believe in what they're selling, that they'd want to plant trees and turn off a few lights at home, leave the private jet in the garage, and turn down the temp in the swimming pool to 70 degrees instead of the comfy 85. I don't know, though. Supposedly Gore is more cosmically aware than the rest of us. Maybe there's some compelling karmic reason why it's better to balance things out--like the universe prefers it if you both stab people with Sharpies and pass out that candy to the kiddies.
I like the Ayn Rand and Aristotle suggestion. I'd throw in a little Heinlein too.
Heinlein is a good suggestion. I'm not a huge fan of sci-fi, but I do like him. I also really like Arthur C. Clarke and Ursula Le Guin.
Brilliant!
I do love Crichton's books. :)
I'm re-loving this post. For all the same reasons. I almost didn't do the Beauty in Nature thing because I can be pretty obstinate due to exactly the kind of stuff you mentioned in this post. Sometimes it seems like the preachy tree hugger set do more damage by aggravating me to the point that I almost want to litter just to spite them. I do need to do better where I can, so I'm on with the challenge today. But with the same feelings. No wonder I just love you to bits.
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